Never Quit
Life
Psalm 23
[revised]
It was
true, I was once a fool, a fool who fell so hard, and I didn’t know where to
pick up the pieces and find a new start
Forty some
years ago, I walked through the valley of the shadow of death as a soldier and
as a twenty year old man
It took
me this long and a little bit more to find out just where in this world I
belonged and how this madness began
I took
a look at my life, and realized that I could have lost everything including my
soul, mind and life
If I would
have surrendered my spirit, my body and let all things go and just follow the
path without any strife.
Because
up to that point in time, my life was no longer mine in time, it was completely
gone
It belonged
to the devil as he took everything that was fine as wine, and sang all the evil
songs out of tune and out of time
I lost
my life, my wife, my everything, the only thing I kept was my wedding ring, which
really didn’t mean a thing
Eventually,
I fought back, I took back what was rightfully mine and found the sunlight to
shine on my face once again
As I
walked through the valley of evil, I realized I had lost my mind, but never
will that journey ever again begin
I took
a look at my life and realize there's nothin' left to lose because I've been
blasting and laughing so long, I never took the time to snooze
And even
my children thought that my mind was blown and gone astray for I never came
home long enough to stay
Between
the liquor, the pills and the lustful desires, I never bothered to talk to
anyone, and walk to someone special to put out this fire
But once
I saw the sunlight and felt the warmth on my face, I knew my heart had new
desires
But I never
really saw that point they were trying to make, because I didn’t deserve a
break
I mistreated
myself like the punk I was, I threw a pity party every week and threw my life
away
The devil
was happy, the bartender was good and I was spending every penny I made on
every whore that came my way
Even my
momma thought I was gone, my mind was a wasted thing, she thought I would
eventually end up dead, found in an outline made of chalk as the police told
her I had met my maker
The black
beauties, the rum and coke made it easier to trip to places like Lucy in the
Sky
I loved
to trip and I loved to laugh but the walking was hard as it was never a
straight line to follow
I sat
inside those smoky rooms, I listened to the music and the wine as other people
yelled and hollered
Through
the smoke, I saw people croak and feeling wasted all the time, but that didn’t
bother me much at the time
But I never
once lied to myself or tried to say, I loved being and living this way, as
these times took away my pain
I was
the fool, I made no rules and never realized how I was spending my life with
all the hurt inside
Instead
of thinking of someone else, I was living for myself and no one else but that
was much denied
Living
in a fool’s paradise with no daylight through the windows and seeing only
street lights at night
I roamed
the streets and bars of the city, looking for some free drinks and a couple of
fights
Never dropping
on my knees at night or saying a prayer, had I taken the blasphemy in line
Looking
back, I knew I was sad, I never smiled or laughed like I do now but this is not
then or now again
I can
live a normal life, a family and a good looking wife, and even begin to believe
in God again
I got
me facing the truth, the mortal me and the weaknesses inside I cannot hide any
longer
I became
a man, chasing my dreams and got my self-respect back, as I look in the mirror
back into my eyes
Too much
foolishness, not enough faith, I had nothing but evil and money on my mind, and
slowly, I knew I was going to die
No longer
walking the valley of death with all the fear I once had, I can say don’t arouse
my anger
I aint
no fool, I aint no loser and I am but a heartbeat away from telling you what I need
to say and say it loudly
As I am
sixty seven now and I will live to see tomorrow or seventy eight without all
that sorrow
The way
things are going now, I know they tell me why I changed but deep inside, the
PTSD, it still lurks away
Knowing
that it only takes a certain flash or noise, to take everything I have, away.
Times
for pain and time for hurting are gone now forever, as I can recall I was too
blind to see
That the
ones I hurt, the lives and hearts I broke were not only mine but other people
besides me
So tell
me why you want to go party all night, tell we why you want to dance with evil
So blind
to see, you cannot feel the pain or sorrow that is headed your way tomorrow.
There is
no happiness as you suffer, minute after minute, hour after hour
If you
are thinking about quitting, make sure you remember why you started
