Watching you outside the circle

Wasted Honor -

Carl R. ToersBijns is the author of the Wasted Honor Trilogy [Wasted Honor I,II and Gorilla Justice] and his newest book From the Womb to the Tomb, the Tony Lester Story, which is a reflection of his life and his experiences as a correctional officer and a correctional administrator retiring with the rank of deputy warden in the New Mexico and Arizona correctional systems.

Carl also wrote a book on his combat experience in the Kindle book titled - Combat Medic - Men with destiny - A red cross of Valor -

Carl is considered by many a rogue expert in the field of prison security systems since leaving the profession. Carl has been involved in the design of many pilot programs related to mental health treatment, security threat groups, suicide prevention, and maximum custody operational plans including double bunking max inmates and enhancing security for staff. He invites you to read his books so you can understand and grasp the cultural and political implications and influences of these prisons. He deals with the emotions, the stress and anxiety as well as the realities faced working inside a prison. He deals with the occupational risks while elaborating on the psychological impact of both prison worker and prisoner.

His most recent book, Gorilla Justice, is an un-edited raw fictional version of realistic prison experiences and events through the eyes of an anecdotal translation of the inmate’s plight and suffering while enduring the harsh and toxic prison environment including solitary confinement.

Carl has been interviewed by numerous news stations and newspapers in Phoenix regarding the escape from the Kingman prison and other high profile media cases related to wrongful deaths and suicides inside prisons. His insights have been solicited by the ACLU, Amnesty International, and various other legal firms representing solitary confinement cases in California and Arizona. He is currently working on the STG Step Down program at Pelican Bay and has offered his own experience insights with the Center of Constitutional Rights lawyers and interns to establish a core program at the SHU units. He has personally corresponded and written with SHU prisoners to assess the living conditions and how it impacts their long term placement inside these type of units that are similar to those in Arizona Florence Eyman special management unit where Carl was a unit deputy warden for almost two years before his promotion to Deputy Warden of Operations in Safford and Eyman.

He is a strong advocate for the mentally ill and is a board member of David's Hope Inc. a non-profit advocacy group in Phoenix and also serves as a senior advisor for Law Enforcement Officers Advocates Council in Chino, California As a subject matter expert and corrections consultant, Carl has provided interviews and spoken on national and international radio talk shows e.g. BBC CBC Lou Show & TV shows as well as the Associated Press.

I use sarcasm, satire, parodies and other means to make you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Watching you outside the circle

I sit here quietly watching the unmagic unfold as you sink in life like quicksand in the dry and forsaken desert. No words can describe the jobs you undertake each day while working in the darkness of evil and shadowy figures. I watch as it drags you down morally and ethically while you struggle to survive and keep your head above water. One year after another, you remain in the darkened pit called a man made hell-hole by others that have been there of what seems like forever but refuse to talk about it when you come home.

This was written for those courageous and willing to face the devil in his own little pocket of life and where evil triumphs over good almost every minute of the day. The darkness seems to always find a way to bring out the seductive and secret nature of the beasts inside and addictively brings souls back to be tortured or handed defeat at the hands of old man time and destiny. Slowly as I sit here outside the circle I can view your efforts with the affects of the unmagic focus on individual pains and sorrow surrounded by gloom and obscurity often unsaid and unwritten on the walls of silence.

Each day I watch these eyes tell a different kind of story. Each day I sit, I hold a different view from the circle’s ring of fire that separates the insane from the insanity that keeps the view together like glue carefully put on the binding forces of a book describing madness. Each scene is speaking to me in foreign tongues as it appears different from moment to moment in a different shade of light and darkness.

Each person I see looks different yet the same as they are colored with brown and orange shades of life. Each one has a different character yet the all seem to look the same withholding the colors of their shapes and clothing. I suspect there was a time when both were clothed the same and shaped in similar colors but as I tell this story, it could never again be the same but rather an erosion of character and favor. In sadness I see them as before as they are now nothing like anyone else of you. Time has taken your youth and beauty and the hearts and minds appear to be soiled.

Was it me or was it reality that made me sit here and watch from outside the circle where there is no laughter or light and families are so far away. As I sit here outside the circle there is a dog asleep and keeping me company so that I can stay warm and awake and listen to the whispers outside the circle that never sees the sun as it rises and the moon as it falls. Inside this circle of madness there is work to be done. There are no birds of freedom as the sky is filled with stars unreachable yet so close you can almost touch them in your mind.

Sliding over a little bit to sit a little higher I perch myself on the corner of insanity to see what is being eaten and consumed by the darkness without the light. In the end they seemed to give it their all. All and just a little bit more until all of them are consumed by the emptiness of light. A feeling lingering like the quicksand in life that is there but sometimes makes you unaware of its presence as it steals your heart, your kindness and compassion.

So to the devil’s delight and those that follow him you stumble in the eyes of God in the middle of the night. No longer do you feel the pain as it has parted your heart as the quicksand parts and swallows you whole as you desperately reach out to grab someone to hold onto as while slowly descending into the chasms of evil that will never ever let you go.