I’ve been alone before but that was then

Wasted Honor -

Carl R. ToersBijns is the author of the Wasted Honor Trilogy [Wasted Honor I,II and Gorilla Justice] and his newest book From the Womb to the Tomb, the Tony Lester Story, which is a reflection of his life and his experiences as a correctional officer and a correctional administrator retiring with the rank of deputy warden in the New Mexico and Arizona correctional systems.

Carl also wrote a book on his combat experience in the Kindle book titled - Combat Medic - Men with destiny - A red cross of Valor -

Carl is considered by many a rogue expert in the field of prison security systems since leaving the profession. Carl has been involved in the design of many pilot programs related to mental health treatment, security threat groups, suicide prevention, and maximum custody operational plans including double bunking max inmates and enhancing security for staff. He invites you to read his books so you can understand and grasp the cultural and political implications and influences of these prisons. He deals with the emotions, the stress and anxiety as well as the realities faced working inside a prison. He deals with the occupational risks while elaborating on the psychological impact of both prison worker and prisoner.

His most recent book, Gorilla Justice, is an un-edited raw fictional version of realistic prison experiences and events through the eyes of an anecdotal translation of the inmate’s plight and suffering while enduring the harsh and toxic prison environment including solitary confinement.

Carl has been interviewed by numerous news stations and newspapers in Phoenix regarding the escape from the Kingman prison and other high profile media cases related to wrongful deaths and suicides inside prisons. His insights have been solicited by the ACLU, Amnesty International, and various other legal firms representing solitary confinement cases in California and Arizona. He is currently working on the STG Step Down program at Pelican Bay and has offered his own experience insights with the Center of Constitutional Rights lawyers and interns to establish a core program at the SHU units. He has personally corresponded and written with SHU prisoners to assess the living conditions and how it impacts their long term placement inside these type of units that are similar to those in Arizona Florence Eyman special management unit where Carl was a unit deputy warden for almost two years before his promotion to Deputy Warden of Operations in Safford and Eyman.

He is a strong advocate for the mentally ill and is a board member of David's Hope Inc. a non-profit advocacy group in Phoenix and also serves as a senior advisor for Law Enforcement Officers Advocates Council in Chino, California As a subject matter expert and corrections consultant, Carl has provided interviews and spoken on national and international radio talk shows e.g. BBC CBC Lou Show & TV shows as well as the Associated Press.

I use sarcasm, satire, parodies and other means to make you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, July 19, 2014

I’ve been alone before but that was then

Life can be unkind and full of pain and sorrow if you allow it to burrow inside your skin and close your eyes to darken the light before you. Keeping the light burning and avoiding the darkness of gloom and agony is most difficult when you are despondent and out for the count but not impossible if you really try hard to overcome the feelings of suffering.

Being alone almost guarantees you an empty soul unless you find someone to share the encouraging moments with when a glimmer of light appears. It can be compared to the only chair in the room with no one sitting on it. Like a tree separated from the forest it yearns for company but finds not another tree around.

Being alone is two people divided by a wall of silence or a wall that obstructs the ability of being together. Sometimes the wall is made of stone and other times the wall is made of crystal like glass where you can see the other side but cannot reach or touch what you so long for.

Being alone is one of the lowest values of unhappiness and misery in your life that you will ever pay. Loneliness breeds despair and despair fosters hopelessness. It brings on feelings that are difficult to cope with and most complex to understand. In fact, being alone brings with it depression and sadness wrapped up in a snowball headed for hell.

Climbing out of the abyss of loneliness requires love and courage. The love for self to try to change the way life is and the courage to make the right decisions. There are no steps or ladders to climb out of this pit of misery and it requires you to take footing on anything you can in order to make progress out of this world of self-created pity.

The first invisible step is to gather the strength to make a move to climb out of the pit. Regardless of how you feel, you must overcome the fear of darkness and seek the light. Hope is your strongest ally and faith will give you the motivation to persevere and keep on going.

The second invisible step is finding solid ground to stand on so you can begin to stabilize yourself and gather your thoughts on who you are and where you are going. Finding yourself is important to know what makes you tick and what it is you need to be nourished and energized for the numerous obstacles still before you.

The third invisible step is to find someone you can trust and grab a hold of in case you fall. Falling is normal but getting up is the hardest part of your trials and tribulation that will make you stronger and find out who you really are.

Now you are not alone but you are too fragile to let go and do it solo. You must find a way to strengthen your bonds with life like you want it to be and choose th people who you want in your life. Once you find the confidence of who you are and what you can do, the rest will follow.