How many times have you seen someone express the desire to “crush
someone” when they are angry? Does crushing someone really work and what does
it accomplish as a management tool? Does it create less work or more worries? I
suspect you already know the answers.
When you are angry, really angry, you tend to be what other
people view as “not yourself” and out of character. You have become someone
alienated and sometimes fearful to be around with and unpredictable in behaviors.
Admittedly, sometimes we enjoy watching someone “lose it” and not realize the
consequences of such conduct.
We all hold back emotions on the job, it was taught to us
to leave our personal lives at the gate. Sadly, this impacts our ability to
cope with the workplace environment and something needs to bridge the two
dynamics in a positive manner. First, we must admit that being too angry or mad
is a complete waste of time and energy.
You need to learn to suck it up and move on.
However, what you may not realize before is that anger adds
a value to your life and to your behaviors. It is the most important emotion we
have and determines the good and bad choices we make in our lives.
Anger usually brings change. Change in behavior, change in
attitude and manners and change in the environment. Hence, anger serves a
special purpose for you, it gives you a warning something needs to change.
How you deal with extremely angry emotions is up to you. There
is nobody strong enough to control your own emotions and the triggers of
control comes from within. One has many choices how to deal with anger and
hopefully, managing it will make you a better person.
Negative reactions have a variety of option on this
continuum of feelings related to anger. There are many ways to deal with them
but suppressing them is not good for you or your health. It can lead to physiological
conditions such as ulcers or heart disease and other damaging indicators of
illnesses.
You can choose to let it happen and use this opportunity to
express yourself in a healthy positive manner. Don’t shut the emotion inside
you and don’t shut people out of your life. Deal with it but make it a positive
experience instead of letting it fester inside of you.
One thing is for sure, don’t hide it or ignore it for it
won’t go away. Time may allow it to subside for a while but it eventually will
manifest itself again and come back. Think about it for a moment and realize you
are angry. Now is not a good time to speak or act out because you are angry.
Words, like actions, can hurt just as bad.
Cool off, evaluate the importance of your anger and decide
whether you can fix it or not. Is it in your span of control or does it take
the help of others. The answer is not to take any premature or earlier actions
without collecting all the facts.
Ask yourself, “Why am I angry?” and determine if it is an
isolated matter or a buildup of smaller issues that have now culminated into a
bigger issue. Timing is everything and if the time or place isn’t right to deal
with your anger, you need to learn to walk away from it and deal with it in another
time or space as the rage subsides low enough for you to think clearly. This is
not avoidance or delaying, its strategy to deal with your anger.
Some great channels of healing or relieving anger is to
cool off with physical exercise and “blow off steam” to reduce your anger. Use
your anger to fuel your exercise activities and keep it focused on calming your
emotions.
Look at your anger as a life challenge block or barrier. Analyze
what makes you so angry. Look at the circumstances, your situational awareness
is important. What underlying circumstances are fueling your anger?
Is someone provoking you or is it something taken out of
perspective and blown out of proportion. There are ways to evaluate cause and
effect before you do something drastic. Using logic or common sense often
serves as a cooling off device before you know it.
Anger comes from within but that doesn’t give you the right
to claim to be a victim. You can’t blame others for your anger. You have to use
your own head to figure it out and not point fingers at others even though they
might have triggered your anger. It is your responsibility to deal with it and
not others.
If possible, find a sanctuary or a safe place – a place
where you feel you can think or relax without interferences. Taking a time out
still works for many of us, when angry, you are physically and psychologically
stressed out and over stimulated. Calm down and find a safe spot.
The phrase “look before you leap” serves an important
purpose. It determines your timing and responses when angry so consider the
source or the person who caused this anger. Don’t let the anger become a
collective matter.
Treat each problem separately to proportion your approach
and responses. Putting all your problems together causes more anger and cause a
bigger argument than necessary.
Find a good friend who is trustworthy. Sometimes sharing a
problem will lower you anger and make it more manageable. Finding a set of
headphones and listening to music is also a positive way to handle anger.
You can transfer your emotions to the music and create
different thought patterns that can calm you down or allow you to match your
emotion to the music beat or tempo creating a synchronized relief system.
Anger has triggers. Triggers can be minor or aggravated by
person place or thing. Be aware of what triggers your anger. Allow a deviance
in your schedule to avoid having to deal with these triggers and work around
them. Don’t create situations where your anger crosses the path of what you
dislike the most in your life.
One effective way to fight anger is to learn how to relax. Something
that will put you at ease for the moment being and give you a chance to
breathe. Reconnect with the things in your life that have a fulfilling meaning
or value to you.
Last but not least, never use anger to fuel change.
Remember at the beginning anger is always related to change. The key is to make
or create positive change and focus on building a life rather than destroying
it. Some enjoy anger because it is an emotional high with adrenalin or hormone
stimulation. Be careful as it will create a cause and effect produce you have
to deal with in the end.
No comments:
Post a Comment