Wasted Honor -

Carl R. ToersBijns is the author of the Wasted Honor Trilogy [Wasted Honor I,II and Gorilla Justice] and his newest book From the Womb to the Tomb, the Tony Lester Story, which is a reflection of his life and his experiences as a correctional officer and a correctional administrator retiring with the rank of deputy warden in the New Mexico and Arizona correctional systems.

Carl also wrote a book on his combat experience in the Kindle book titled - Combat Medic - Men with destiny - A red cross of Valor -

Carl is considered by many a rogue expert in the field of prison security systems since leaving the profession. Carl has been involved in the design of many pilot programs related to mental health treatment, security threat groups, suicide prevention, and maximum custody operational plans including double bunking max inmates and enhancing security for staff. He invites you to read his books so you can understand and grasp the cultural and political implications and influences of these prisons. He deals with the emotions, the stress and anxiety as well as the realities faced working inside a prison. He deals with the occupational risks while elaborating on the psychological impact of both prison worker and prisoner.

His most recent book, Gorilla Justice, is an un-edited raw fictional version of realistic prison experiences and events through the eyes of an anecdotal translation of the inmate’s plight and suffering while enduring the harsh and toxic prison environment including solitary confinement.

Carl has been interviewed by numerous news stations and newspapers in Phoenix regarding the escape from the Kingman prison and other high profile media cases related to wrongful deaths and suicides inside prisons. His insights have been solicited by the ACLU, Amnesty International, and various other legal firms representing solitary confinement cases in California and Arizona. He is currently working on the STG Step Down program at Pelican Bay and has offered his own experience insights with the Center of Constitutional Rights lawyers and interns to establish a core program at the SHU units. He has personally corresponded and written with SHU prisoners to assess the living conditions and how it impacts their long term placement inside these type of units that are similar to those in Arizona Florence Eyman special management unit where Carl was a unit deputy warden for almost two years before his promotion to Deputy Warden of Operations in Safford and Eyman.

He is a strong advocate for the mentally ill and is a board member of David's Hope Inc. a non-profit advocacy group in Phoenix and also serves as a senior advisor for Law Enforcement Officers Advocates Council in Chino, California As a subject matter expert and corrections consultant, Carl has provided interviews and spoken on national and international radio talk shows e.g. BBC CBC Lou Show & TV shows as well as the Associated Press.

I use sarcasm, satire, parodies and other means to make you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, July 9, 2015

I am your worst nightmare

Can you tell I am your worst nightmare?

I’m sitting here with my laptop computer home, feeling well, alert and far from dying. I breathe air knowing that any minute, my life can change and change beyond any of my own imagination. I’m not scared, I am really not scared because I am not alone – I have many friends and relatives that know what is going on and what is happening and what I am working on and God is my witness, I am doing something ethical.
Every so often, I check my pulse, I watch my weight, and I exercise daily. I want to be fit for the challenges in life and at no time thinking about my death. I don’t sleep with the sheets over my head or stuck in the sand. I don’t visit the morgue and I walk the walk of life with happiness. I will be cremated when I do die but until then, I am alive.
I enjoy life to the fullest, I see the sunrise and sunset as the pivotal moments in my life. Each day I measure my self-worth and value. I try to remain grounded and even sing at times to show my joy. I love birds and how they sing, I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with a piece of chocolate whenever I can.
This wheel keeps on turning until it can’t turn no more but I doubt that will happen anytime soon. I am alive, I am not forgotten, and I can sustain and adapt to this cruel world we live in.
My personal manifestation is integrity and sharing knowledge. I want it be said that if I am gone, somebody will notice it. Although not concerned about being liked, I wish to be respected. Scary is it? Is it unreasonable to be respected? Not at all but you must walk the walk and talk the talk in order to earn that respect. Just me writing this down should give you the willies.
Down deep inside, I worry a little about my family and friends. I have this primal need to be remembered but most of all, I want to be able to pass something on to somebody who will carry the torch of integrity and sharing knowledge for me. I think that’s maybe one of the reasons why I do what I do – stir controversy and provoke others to think.
I want to leave some mark on the world saying, “I was here.” I want my memory to remain honest, truthful and accurate. I want it to reflect my perceptions, my reflections and my intentions.
At the same time I want my memory to a reminder that when we share we care. I also want you to know that I have made mistakes, too many to mention but that they were honest mistakes. If we’re being honest, I think maybe that’s one of the reasons many of us start blogging.
There’s something immensely comforting about knowing your thoughts are out there for the whole world to read. You could kick the bucket tomorrow, but your words will live on, teaching, inspiring, and taking root in the minds of readers for generations to come That’s the idea – sharing my thoughts – sharing to have others read and words that will help you or guide you in your journey to success and blessings still to come.
Or at least that’s the idea. LOL - Peace to all - 2015