My Shitty Days, a Plague of no End
Outside, it’s raining cats and dogs, the streets are flooded and I haven’t seen the sun for days. Now normally, that would be a good thing for me but the days have been shitty and my roof is leaking more than usual.
The weather forecasters have predicted the El Nino will arrive soon, but the rains has already arrived to make the hills slide in motion with cruddy mud as gravel tumbles down to block the almost empty roads so some people are trapped where they are, hoping that someone realizes the storm has cast a darkness on their lives from the inside out and find them.
Inside, my current state of affairs a fire is spreading like a famine, much like the plague did back when as it traveled through cats and dogs and rats making my life even shittier. Having a good life is hard enough without having shitty days. The rain usually cleanses the soul and brings the sunshine back after a few hours. But not today, not yesterday and maybe not tomorrow.
As the heavy rain pounds the rooftops of the red brick house, the roof is straining in weakness as the newly cracks formed, allowing the water to enter inside where the pain is even more than desired under circumstances such as this. Negativity dwells largely inside those hollows created by darkness and depression.
All these thoughts are like a plague, the way the water is eroding the soil is equivalent as my house, still standing but being tested like a house of cards dampened by rain, ready to fall. Inside my mind, my sanity is eating away. I know that in a case like this, it’s time to fall down on your knees and pray.
My ears hear the devil’s dance, I know he is laughing and shouting out with glee how he has penetrated my mind and slowly depressing me. It is hard to keep my heart dancing to a spiritedly tune for the darkness I cannot escape as the light remains hidden now for days.
I swear to God, my sanity never escaped, my mind is struggling to fight this oppression by nature’s wrath cast by shadows and walls of water. Not with my death, not with my age, will I succumb to the darkness; as God is my judge, I swear l will only allow the darkness to remain only as my guest and then cast it aside when the light returns to cover the heart, the doubts and pain endured. I know it will come.
There is not much to say about nothing, this time of solitaire will soon disappear. I am worth living, I ride life’s highway in the fast lane, the eternal journey lane and the passing lane just so I can see who believes me and who can see me. I fear nothing or no one – I love life.
Some days, I get ahead, some days I fall behind but it’s not about giving up or dying. I’m thinking of the moments ahead when the sunlight brightens up the skies once again and dries out my house, my heart and my mind of all this darkness. I know it will come.
So if you can hear me, now is the time I am suppose to leave but as I said before, this is not about dying, this is about life and trying to live better than ever before, I’m doing better, better than before and I wrote this poem to let you know, that whatever the rain may bring, it will never make me quit and say, “I don’t need you no more.”
I pray to God, these words will find another, so I left it on the floor for you to see or read. Cause I am doing better, better than ever before. What am I supposed to do about the famine, the hunger, the wars and mass shootings? Where has the sanity gone as the morality is stuck on the bottom of the deck of cards that deals us misery and doom, darkness and gloom.
I can’t deal with all these problems, I refuse to get involved anymore than praying for those who died or harmed by the senseless cowardly acts around us. I grabbed a bottle and popped some pills but the pain won’t go away so I won’t do that again. I pray for wisdom and hop that this madness will soon end.
What is the common factor? How come every time the world deals the Ace of Spades, the world chases after it while the rest of us turn and run backwards away from the fight. I feel emotions; I have seen words unspoken as I am tired of broken promises of the pursuit of happiness and seeing the light. Take a look at me now, take a look at me now, I am doing better – life is better, because I am doing better than ever before. I took the time to talk to Jesus, I took the time to have the faith I needed to know that it will always get better. I know it will come.