Why “Bad People” make Good People Suffer?
Ever had that feeling why bad people seem to have good things happen to them and the good, like yourself, appear to be suffering more than others. A difficult question to answer but I am guessing there are some specific dynamics attached to such cases. One has to first believe that bad people don’t suffer as much as good people. In my opinion, that would be hard to prove.
We all know when bad things happen, we feel that fate has betrayed us when in fact, we are trying to do what is good. This often results in a disproportionate feeling of despair and stress. We tend to feel that the bad persons have been spared the cruelty we suffer. The first thing we have to do is stop the comparison. It serves no purpose to bicker or argue about it. We don’t always have all the facts of the situation to worry about it.
We are often so wrapped up in our own torment we never see the other side and this disconnect hides what we believe is the suffering of self but not others. We should learn to accept the fact that all people, regardless good or evil, have their own share of troubles. Since it is natural to feel the need to know that we are better off than the others, it still doesn’t make it any more sensible to worry about it.
So comparing suffering is senseless or useless as we have to determine what it is that makes it easier for bad people to cope with adversity or bad things happening to you or them. Just because you think they don’t suffer, it doesn’t make life easier as we tend to generalize things to the point we try to cover all experiences under one umbrella. Thinking bad people have a lack of conscience is one way to see it, however, that may be untrue in some cases.
In my own opinion, even if I perceive someone to be evil that doesn’t mean they don’t experience or feel emotional pain or the sting of failure like I do. Simply put, they may choose to remain quiet about it or refuse to discuss it in public. This brings up attitude and how we handle adversity. Some of us think they (bad people) have it easier because they don’t suffer the emotional cost we do. In other words, they downplay the impact or deny it even exists.
It may be their strengths to deal with adversity is stronger than yours and gives others the impression they don’t care and pretend not to be set back or offended by the negativity and move on with their lives. I know it’s cliché but even bad people suffer – whether you see or feel it or not, we don’t know the full impact.
They may not wear their emotions on their sleeve and not show grief or suffering. Some spare an embarrassment if they display what they believe is a weakness in character and this itself causes misunderstandings. Their reactions may be cold and unemotional compared to the good person who shows they feel the crushing pain, tears in their eyes and trembling knees or lips showing a lot of emotion. Who is to tell, which one is more genuine or sincere? The answer can only be known to their inner self.
Thus whether we are good or evil, we all share commonalities but choose to show it differently in public or in life. We all suffer, and we all experience regrets. We move on in some cases, and we stall in the past on other predicaments. We must recognize we deal with grief differently. Some show a rather masochistically behavior and others appear cold and numb showing no anguish or suffering on the outside. The key root is regret and how you deal with it. If you can accept the loss or discontent without excessive emotion, the chances of moving on are greater than those who stall in the past.
Realize that life is not easy. There will be pain and sorrow. There will be dents in your armor, scars on your skin or inside your head but wear them with knowing the fact that you had the courage to keep moving and avoid any further suffering. Life offers you more than you realize if you just get away from self-pity and find the beauty of living.