Wasted Honor -

Carl R. ToersBijns is the author of the Wasted Honor Trilogy [Wasted Honor I,II and Gorilla Justice] and his newest book From the Womb to the Tomb, the Tony Lester Story, which is a reflection of his life and his experiences as a correctional officer and a correctional administrator retiring with the rank of deputy warden in the New Mexico and Arizona correctional systems.

Carl also wrote a book on his combat experience in the Kindle book titled - Combat Medic - Men with destiny - A red cross of Valor -

Carl is considered by many a rogue expert in the field of prison security systems since leaving the profession. Carl has been involved in the design of many pilot programs related to mental health treatment, security threat groups, suicide prevention, and maximum custody operational plans including double bunking max inmates and enhancing security for staff. He invites you to read his books so you can understand and grasp the cultural and political implications and influences of these prisons. He deals with the emotions, the stress and anxiety as well as the realities faced working inside a prison. He deals with the occupational risks while elaborating on the psychological impact of both prison worker and prisoner.

His most recent book, Gorilla Justice, is an un-edited raw fictional version of realistic prison experiences and events through the eyes of an anecdotal translation of the inmate’s plight and suffering while enduring the harsh and toxic prison environment including solitary confinement.

Carl has been interviewed by numerous news stations and newspapers in Phoenix regarding the escape from the Kingman prison and other high profile media cases related to wrongful deaths and suicides inside prisons. His insights have been solicited by the ACLU, Amnesty International, and various other legal firms representing solitary confinement cases in California and Arizona. He is currently working on the STG Step Down program at Pelican Bay and has offered his own experience insights with the Center of Constitutional Rights lawyers and interns to establish a core program at the SHU units. He has personally corresponded and written with SHU prisoners to assess the living conditions and how it impacts their long term placement inside these type of units that are similar to those in Arizona Florence Eyman special management unit where Carl was a unit deputy warden for almost two years before his promotion to Deputy Warden of Operations in Safford and Eyman.

He is a strong advocate for the mentally ill and is a board member of David's Hope Inc. a non-profit advocacy group in Phoenix and also serves as a senior advisor for Law Enforcement Officers Advocates Council in Chino, California As a subject matter expert and corrections consultant, Carl has provided interviews and spoken on national and international radio talk shows e.g. BBC CBC Lou Show & TV shows as well as the Associated Press.

I use sarcasm, satire, parodies and other means to make you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Ode to my Past

"Ode To My Past"

Try to understand the things I say, try to understand the things I do
Don’t turn away from me when I am trying to explain, as I have spent half my life
Thinking about what went wrong and how it went so bad as I know you wouldn’t disagree
That time has not been kind to you and me

You never saw me standing there, in the rain, in the dark and in the clouds
You never heard me talking to you, even my whispers were said out loud
Maybe it was the way I acted, maybe it was the way I felt but never did I stop loving you
Never did I stop notice that I was truly missing you

It feels like nobody cares, the loneliness has brought nothing but sorrow
Unhappiness when I was young, unhappiness today and expecting the same tomorrow
Because the way we were raised, the discipline, the harsh and tough love allowed us to survive
But the life I made was not filled with smiles and happy times, it was a boring kind of life

Like my mother, like my father, I felt that I was out there all alone
Nobody cared, nobody asked how are you and nobody held my hand as if they were scared
So people everywhere think they are better than I, they think they have it all together
When in fact, they haven’t spent the same amount of time, outside in the stormy weather

I thought you like the way we were, but you were better than me as you could see
You thought I didn’t give a damn, you thought it was all fun and glee
Try to understand what I was, where I have been and what I have become
Caused that was the way we were raised, and I can’t go back

I miss the laughter, I don’t miss the pain and as I stand here in the rain
I know you don’t know me well enough to judge me, I know that we are not the same
Perhaps you are something better than I am, perhaps you found your way to see the light
Because the sun has never found me, it did not shine on me and give me light

Last but not least, I see life as it is, even when young, I saw the darkness falling slowly
It’s not because I didn’t give a damn, its not because I didn’t care
But we were raised that way, we had no fun in life and we took it on the run

Cause we were raised and nobody cared, and never got to see the sun