My Vanishing Point

Wasted Honor -

Carl R. ToersBijns is the author of the Wasted Honor Trilogy [Wasted Honor I,II and Gorilla Justice] and his newest book From the Womb to the Tomb, the Tony Lester Story, which is a reflection of his life and his experiences as a correctional officer and a correctional administrator retiring with the rank of deputy warden in the New Mexico and Arizona correctional systems.

Carl also wrote a book on his combat experience in the Kindle book titled - Combat Medic - Men with destiny - A red cross of Valor -

Carl is considered by many a rogue expert in the field of prison security systems since leaving the profession. Carl has been involved in the design of many pilot programs related to mental health treatment, security threat groups, suicide prevention, and maximum custody operational plans including double bunking max inmates and enhancing security for staff. He invites you to read his books so you can understand and grasp the cultural and political implications and influences of these prisons. He deals with the emotions, the stress and anxiety as well as the realities faced working inside a prison. He deals with the occupational risks while elaborating on the psychological impact of both prison worker and prisoner.

His most recent book, Gorilla Justice, is an un-edited raw fictional version of realistic prison experiences and events through the eyes of an anecdotal translation of the inmate’s plight and suffering while enduring the harsh and toxic prison environment including solitary confinement.

Carl has been interviewed by numerous news stations and newspapers in Phoenix regarding the escape from the Kingman prison and other high profile media cases related to wrongful deaths and suicides inside prisons. His insights have been solicited by the ACLU, Amnesty International, and various other legal firms representing solitary confinement cases in California and Arizona. He is currently working on the STG Step Down program at Pelican Bay and has offered his own experience insights with the Center of Constitutional Rights lawyers and interns to establish a core program at the SHU units. He has personally corresponded and written with SHU prisoners to assess the living conditions and how it impacts their long term placement inside these type of units that are similar to those in Arizona Florence Eyman special management unit where Carl was a unit deputy warden for almost two years before his promotion to Deputy Warden of Operations in Safford and Eyman.

He is a strong advocate for the mentally ill and is a board member of David's Hope Inc. a non-profit advocacy group in Phoenix and also serves as a senior advisor for Law Enforcement Officers Advocates Council in Chino, California As a subject matter expert and corrections consultant, Carl has provided interviews and spoken on national and international radio talk shows e.g. BBC CBC Lou Show & TV shows as well as the Associated Press.

I use sarcasm, satire, parodies and other means to make you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, November 21, 2016

My Vanishing Point

Today, God’s covenants were never broken. He kept his part of the promise to give me life to the fullest if I accepted Him and His Son, Jesus Christ into my life. Two covenants made decades ago when I starred the fate of death right into the face of darkness as evil surrounded me and no exit to the light was shown except the path of accepting God as my Lord and Savior.

At that moment, I saw a vision of God or His Angels. Out of the deep of death, came life and hope. The star above guided me to the ways of going to heaven. Thinking of my parents, who passed away beyond the human vanishing points in life, I began to realize the reality they are still alive but in another form of life as promised by our Father, our God, and Lord.

At a split moment, the thoughts of death vanished into the air as my heart was filled with of living and bringing my soul back to where it could be in tune with my mind as the stare of death was flushed from my eyes and the touch of the light warmed my flesh.

Trying to wrap my head around the concept of the hell and horrors of war around me, I grabbed onto the fact that God is love and love is God. This by itself brought to me the love for life and the passion for living longer with his spiritual guidance by my side.

No longer was this a futile endeavor to survive the horror around me and as I promised my eternal word to serve the Lord, the concept of eternity began to shape inside my head. Suddenly, the thoughts of death vanished as the fruits of hope gathered strength to bring the past to an end and start a new beginning.

Thus in my own experience, I went from a vanishing point to another vanishing point in a flash of a second when God and His Angels saved me from certain death. Without dwelling into my Vietnam War experiences, I can honestly say I saw visions of death and of life – both very excruciating to watch.

Reflecting those moments almost constantly throughout my life, I know that God is always by my side and never once left me alone. Put into words that make more sense, the moment I made my promise to God, I knew that my life would be everlasting taking me from the vanishing point of the past to the vanishing point of the future.

Of course, the vanishing points refer to manmade vanishing points, not God’s. We know that God’s time and space are eternal and our time is limited on Earth unlike it is in Heaven. This made me think that God was eternal. It made me realize that God had eternity in His heart.

I knew as long as I kept my promise to serve Him, my pledge and His covenant to bring me eternal life would remain intact and bring me the ultimate blessings sought for in my life.

There were no thoughts of my cheated continuous existence here on Earth before vanishing beforehand in my time and space as I was being faithful to Him and that my mortality lasted only as long as I lived but that it would be revitalized with eternally lasting existence after my time on Earth is done.

Without having a panicking moment, I knew that God lasted well beyond the end of my life and that my eternal life depended upon a God who is from everlasting to everlasting just like the good book teaches us it to be. This is where my vanishing point comes into play – thinking about eternity today.

If the vanishing point in life is manmade then there is no vanishing point for God then all evidence points to the fact that He is eternal. His time and space are defined by infinity and if you multiply infinity by infinity you still get infinity. For a person, infinity is the largest number there is except for infinity plus one.

Thinking about eternity is a lot to deal with. For my whole life, I was made a creature of time and space. I only thought of time and space as the environment and the surrounding elements dictated to me. There was no wiggle room as science had mandated we live in time zones and by the clock. In other words, I can only think in terms of time.

Trying to grasp that God is up above and beyond time while at the same time in the middle of time is hard to imagine or accept. If I didn’t have the faith I have in God, I just can’t do it! But then, I don’t really need to understand what this is all about as I let my faith carry me through the difficult moments and logical thinking.

All I need to know is that my time and my times and my eternity is linked up to the God who is eternal. This translated that all of the time from Genesis 1:1 to the last page of Revelations is what the world is all about and then gone as human time vanishes but God’s time is everlasting. Eternal means Everlasting, forever, unto perpetuity, the world without end.

I am eternal because my immortality is linked to the eternal of Jesus Christ. Because He is eternal, I too am eternal in Him.Thus my vanishing point only exists in my home, and my future as I exist in the mortal world of time and space. With His covenant of eternal life, I can rest in the assurance that my eternalness has no end no matter how I may feel as a human when my time to die comes. I have my home in Him. My future is safe with Him. I can rest in the assurance that my eternalness never has an end because God’s eternalness never has an end.

So as I found God in my youth days, the vanishing point of my life has been a little concern for me as I knew as long as I kept my promise to Him, He would keep His promise to me – that being that I will live eternally and dwell in His home. Needless to say, this gave me quite a bit of confidence in my mortality and gave me the energy and spirit to take chances in life. I remember the pleasure I received from knowing my Creator is watching over me and that all is set for me to pass on without any obstacles and freedoms to join those who passed away before me.

Now, the years draw near and the vanishing point of time and space are closing in on me. Causing me some anxiety to the degree of not wanting to burden my loved one with all the care and arrangements needed to take care of me when I die, I can find comfort in the fact that it will all be done right and that the eternal flame of life is waiting for me.

Rightfully so, I spend more time watching the moon, the stars, and the universe up above me. I rightfully feel that I will be up there soon and as I draw nearer to that vanishing point moment, I do not tremble with fear. I know that soon, the light of the sun will darken, the stars will shine brightly and the silence will come with joyous sounds of heaven. This is my eternal journey that I am waiting for – this is beyond any vanishing point man can make in time or space.

But I am also certain that this will not come before God’s plan for me is finished. I know that every step of His plan is dynamic and moving into the right direction. Therefore I know the sun will not darken before the time of eternity is here. Even after the clouds darken and the rain and thunder come near, I know that until the right time comes, I will not vanish from here or anywhere else until it is time to go.

As I walk down the streets of life, I see strong men bow to others with humility and honor. I see them show compassion and love to those less fortunate than them and offer them the warmth of their spirits of hope. I pray that their homes are not made of doors and windows that shut closed forever. That their hearts remain open and their fears remain small as the birds come up to them closely and eat the bread crumbs right out of their hands trusting them with their lives and well-being.

As the final days of my promised blissful human life passes slowly, a stare of death brings the realization of a vanishing loneliness as harsh as the coldest most bitter winter is it flushes my eyes with the tears of aging beyond the light of the most solitary star in the universe. To feel alone in a sea filled with other creatures is depressing and gloomy as my spirits had sunk as low as the bottom of the sea. Lying there, below the third layer of my wrinkled skin is the bountiful hope of eternal bliss awaiting the end. Although it would be a lie to say I fear no fear, it is true that the fear I have is not what will happen to be but what I leave behind.

We all want to leave a legacy of love, hope and charity behind for those who follow us into the promised land. We all pray of dreams coming true and giving our loved ones the bliss they rightfully deserve and pray for. So as I find my vanishing point coming nearer and nearer, I am preparing my soul for my life that God has promised me. For the eternal life is coming and the blessings received are well worth the waiting. Amen.