Wallow in the Mire
One would think that after so many years, life and the kind of work you have chosen to do should or would be getting better. Even with all the endless time spent in society’s forgotten and forsaken hell-holes they call jails or prisons, you have chosen to work in to make a living. Certainly, you are possessed with passion and determination to do a job that is one of the most difficult in the law enforcement world.
It is with a certain degree of knowledge that you never thought that you would wallow in the mire and get your feet stuck as the negativity slurps your soul and tears your heart down to reach the levels of evil while grasping at every chance to drag you down and compromise your own morals and values.
Your idea of a career, a profession or a challenging position brought you illusions of adventure, respect, and satisfaction. Somehow, that is not how it works when you chose to become a detention or correctional officer inside a large jail complex or penitentiary. In fact, it can almost be said that life does not get better over time unless you choose to control your own destiny.
It has been said that perception impacts the reality and inside jails and prisons, reality is distorted like muddy water is when stirred and agitated over and over, endlessly and often with malice. Before you took this job, you never used to get mad over those little things that have begun to aggravate you to no end with very little help from anyone else.
It appeared your support base was very limited and only to those who shared your pain and frustrations. In time, you managed to dodge the anger and obstructions and turn it into positive moments.
In the past, whether you were in school or just hanging out with your friends, you did all the things that were thought to be cool and now, you have no time for those things that brought you joy and happiness like before. You have seen others dwell on this matter before.
You have seen how life had taught you what was cool and now, after all these years, you see others lose it and end up a fool because they cannot make their own destiny and find the passion they had once before their spirit was flushed down the toilet like this job has almost drained you and tampered with your inner spirit giving you a very pessimistic outlook on life and those things that make your daily routine seem worthless.
Inside your heart and mind, you knew this job was holding you down. For the past few years, all you have done is follow the rules, when in fact, you used to toy with them and see how far you could get without being caught in breaking them.Rules appeared to have taken over your life in more ways than you care to mention. But then, you broke loose and life took a new direction and turn.
Somewhere along the line, you have to admit that this journey is getting better. Although it may seem to be filled with darkness, there is light ahead as you persisted and persevered the trials and tribulations faced with daily and sometimes at your wit’s end to deal with them.
Relentlessly and stubbornly, you’ve got to admit it’s getting better. Maybe because you have acclimated or assimilated to the point where you can blend and handle whatever is tossed your way and overcome those challenges without the kind of energy it took once before when you were not so savvy on your job.
You begin to admit it’s getting a little bit better over time. It’s getting better since you have conquered the environment to the extent of controlling it better and make it your domain rather than anyone else’s.
No longer an angry person who slings out of control at what seemed to be the slightest provocation or trigger to push your buttons and make you lose control. You have learned to control your emotions and not hide your head in the sand, dealing with the reality around you and making it better.
Over time, you learned how to use your command presence, the right words and tone, shown or cultured the right way to do things and make the rules work for you instead of against you. Little by little you earned your self-respect as others respect you and your world becomes stabilized a bit to make things better.
You finally heard the praise you so justly deserved and the recognition of doing a good job with honor and esteem. You are doing the best you can and showing others that you are a strong link to the team as they look up to you as a leader and decision maker. Life is getting better.
Life used to be cruel to you as you suffered and struggled through the mire that you had to walk through a day in and day out. Now, you wallow in the mire but you are in control. You are the mud raker taking control of all those things around you. That makes the difference in your life as you feel it getting better.
Now you managed to keep your life apart and keep things personal home and deal with only the professional end of your job at work. You beat the harshness and toxicity of the job and mended fences and kept things apart and managed to maintain a sense of serenity in your personal scene and create bedlam in your professional world if it had to be done that way.
There is no doubt in my mind that you are doing the best you can and admit that it is getting better. You have worked hard to get your feet out of the mire as you watch others wallow and sink even deeper in the darkest part of the world you work in.