Wasted Honor -

Carl R. ToersBijns is the author of the Wasted Honor Trilogy [Wasted Honor I,II and Gorilla Justice] and his newest book From the Womb to the Tomb, the Tony Lester Story, which is a reflection of his life and his experiences as a correctional officer and a correctional administrator retiring with the rank of deputy warden in the New Mexico and Arizona correctional systems.

Carl also wrote a book on his combat experience in the Kindle book titled - Combat Medic - Men with destiny - A red cross of Valor -

Carl is considered by many a rogue expert in the field of prison security systems since leaving the profession. Carl has been involved in the design of many pilot programs related to mental health treatment, security threat groups, suicide prevention, and maximum custody operational plans including double bunking max inmates and enhancing security for staff. He invites you to read his books so you can understand and grasp the cultural and political implications and influences of these prisons. He deals with the emotions, the stress and anxiety as well as the realities faced working inside a prison. He deals with the occupational risks while elaborating on the psychological impact of both prison worker and prisoner.

His most recent book, Gorilla Justice, is an un-edited raw fictional version of realistic prison experiences and events through the eyes of an anecdotal translation of the inmate’s plight and suffering while enduring the harsh and toxic prison environment including solitary confinement.

Carl has been interviewed by numerous news stations and newspapers in Phoenix regarding the escape from the Kingman prison and other high profile media cases related to wrongful deaths and suicides inside prisons. His insights have been solicited by the ACLU, Amnesty International, and various other legal firms representing solitary confinement cases in California and Arizona. He is currently working on the STG Step Down program at Pelican Bay and has offered his own experience insights with the Center of Constitutional Rights lawyers and interns to establish a core program at the SHU units. He has personally corresponded and written with SHU prisoners to assess the living conditions and how it impacts their long term placement inside these type of units that are similar to those in Arizona Florence Eyman special management unit where Carl was a unit deputy warden for almost two years before his promotion to Deputy Warden of Operations in Safford and Eyman.

He is a strong advocate for the mentally ill and is a board member of David's Hope Inc. a non-profit advocacy group in Phoenix and also serves as a senior advisor for Law Enforcement Officers Advocates Council in Chino, California As a subject matter expert and corrections consultant, Carl has provided interviews and spoken on national and international radio talk shows e.g. BBC CBC Lou Show & TV shows as well as the Associated Press.

I use sarcasm, satire, parodies and other means to make you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
































































































































Tuesday, February 11, 2014

The room upstairs at the end of the stairway


 

Every young couple has a bumpy ride the first year after their honeymoon and ours wasn’t any different. Poor planning, losing a job after arguing with the boss and having no money saved up to be self-reliantly self-sufficient, we were forced to make one of the worst decisions of our first year’s marriage – living with the in-laws. It was a nightmare from the moment it was suggested and a journey that brought us closer together to fight the common nemesis within but not without our share of fights and squabbles about so many things it was hard to remember.

The house was a sturdy brick colored house that had a small front and back yard. The garage was full with antiques and the cars were left outside to suffer during the winter months in Ohio. Four bedrooms upstairs and a spacious kitchen and dining room, there was plenty of space for people to be relaxed and enjoy each other’s company. There were shade trees and brick walls that separated the neighbor’s house but the space in between must have been three feet or less.

A quiet neighborhood in general the only excitement was the fire station down the street and the howling sirens that came from those red colored fire engine trucks honking their air horns and blaring their warnings they are coming out of their driveway and into the mainstream neighborhood streets.

The first fact we noticed was the rigidity of the house rules and lights out at 10 pm. No exceptions. No television upstairs and only an alarm clock radio to keep up entertained we made it through the night without much romance and rarely a quiet’s night as we heard the fighting below us about money and food that was either not prepared right or too greasy. The ambience was a most troubling setting but we had each other and that was all that really matters at the time. Life was bliss as we made each moment count with quality time and passionate interludes time permitting.

Thankfully, the days went quick as our time away at work and served to us a legitimate escape or getaway  from the reality show that occurred on a daily basis but the evenings and nighttime’s were deliberately slow and painstakingly awkward and most uncomfortable to say the least. What happened under that roof could put today’s reality shows to shame as the script was anything but ordinary.

Needless to say, we made it work and stayed out of each other’s way as we found things to occupy our time with or took a drive to the nearest burger drive in to sit and relax under the steel roofs of the colorful stalls where we ordered our food and flashed our lights when we were done eating.

The mother-in-law was a kind and compassionate woman that would give you the shirt off her back and feed you the last piece of corn on the cob or a deliciously flavored piece of meat in the always stacked and stocked white Kenmore two door refrigerator. She always smiled and never had a bad word to say about anyone, even family.  Gertrude had endured a rough life but was hardened for it yet never showed but a kind heart to anyone that needed a friend.

The father-in-law, Ed was his name, was a three hundred pound plus drunkard with a terrible attitude and a short fused temper. His vice was alcohol and his pet peeves were dirty dishes and dirty floors. They had to be spotless as he would run his hand over the floor and walk into the kitchen to see if the dishes were done. His roundness would often prevent him from going upstairs thus he would choose the sofa over the upstairs bed nine times out of ten during the week.

The grandmother was a quiet woman – so quiet you hardly ever knew she was around. She slept a lot and it didn’t matter whether the house was noisy or quiet as she was near deaf and never complained about anything or anyone around her. A woman that dressed like the frontier women of the west without a bonnet, she would take out her false teeth and show them off every time someone strange came to the house and was introduced to her in the beginning.

This family was weird but always together. Close knit was an understatement and amicable was a stretch of the imagination. There was seldom a night they didn’t play cards on the dining table or just sat there chatting about current events and things to do for the weekend. Euchre was their favorite game. They didn’t get along but had coping skills that minimized arguments and conflicts the best they could.

The television was sparingly used and hardly even turned on except for what they called “quality” shows such as Ed Sullivan, the Honeymooners and several others that glorified the room in black and white. The radio was the large wooden kind that had only AM stations and rarely on except for a show or two that was favored in the household.

We lived upstairs in the room at the end of the stairs. It was a good sized room as they were generous with us living there on a temporary basis and often gave us the kind of loving feelings that made us sense we were welcome with the unusual exception of Ed wanting to come upstairs to sleep and drunk at the same time. 

It was during such tantrums and outburst he was a most belligerent and obnoxious while under the influence of his liquor or beer. The choice was based on how far it was from payday and the day after payday was always hell to pay for he went on a binge that often lasted several days and began with his arrival by cab after visiting his neighborhood bar.

Ed was a kind man, he was a kind soul that would do anything you asked when he was sober. Gertrude took good care of him and ensured that he had clean clothes, clean dishes and clean floors. The rest was pretty easy and live went on with uneventful ease.

The room had two large windows that were sealed to keep the Ohio cold out and the room warm during these notorious Midwest winters. There were no ceiling fans and no other ventilation except to crack the door open at the end of the hallway leading up from the stairs. The furniture was Victorian and the bed was a good sized bed with plentiful pillows and covers.

The closets were huge and stored everything we owned at the time as we were poor as dirt but happy to be together. I was fortunate to have the girl of my dreams in my arms each night and one thing I can remember clearly was the loving way she snuggled next to me as we fell asleep quietly and without any noises for the walls inside were paper thin and every breath we took could be heard if you were standing at the end of the hallway near the stairway where it ends.

One night, sound asleep, we heard the cab pull into the driveway as it honked its horn to warn Gertrude that Ed had arrived. He needed help walking and watching through the upstairs window, we saw him stagger into the kitchen through the back door as he bellowed out an order to fix him something to eat and that he was hungry and demanded food immediately delivered in his favorite chair at the table.

There were rustling sounds, some screams and some sounds like the furniture was being tossed around but I was grabbed by my wife to go back to sleep and leave them alone. It was none of our business how they acted whenever he went on this binge but the sounds were disturbing and the mood was ugly. I felt compelled to go down there to see if Gertrude was alright and safe from this raging and ferociously sounding bear downstairs.

Then, momentarily, the emptiness was silenced as I thought he had fallen asleep on the sofa where he normally parks his torso after a night as such as that night. However, for some reason his mood was ugly and his disposition was rare as the silence was broken and we became aware that he was heard laboring with heavy breaths climbing the stairs that led to our room upstairs at the end of the stairway.

The door was cracked open and the light of the hallway pierced slightly into the room with us knowing that within a minute or two he would be upstairs at the room at the end of the stairway where we were sleeping and now nervously awaiting his entrance into the room.  I chose to get dressed and envisioned an altercation as he might have found the courage to take up a fight of my accosting of his daughter and the marriage that was neither approved by him nor often censured as it was called a “puppy love” kind of relationship that defied all odds of becoming a successful relationship.

The noise level dropped as I could hear Gertrude beg him to come back down and sleep downstairs. His disturbed state of mind was focused on giving me a piece of his mind and there was no stopping him since he was on his last six steps to the end of the stairs. The door flung open and the odor of alcohol reeked the room instantly as he rudely turned on the light with Gertrude hanging onto him begging him to stop is aggressive behaviors. It was on –

The lighted room revealed I was already dressed with shoes on and ready for battle. My wife, faithfully standing behind me shouted at her dad to stay away and leave us alone. This was a night like no other night as it was down to fisticuffs that I didn’t want to happen. We were invited to stay but we knew that if this came to blows, our welcome was over and the streets were cold and damp on an Ohio winter day. Living out of a suitcase was most uncomfortable but being under the same roof as the in-laws was a challenge that can never be forgotten.

I didn’t want to do it – I didn’t want to fight him as I was half his age and sober as hell. He didn’t have any reflexes and his muscle coordination suffered badly as he staggered with every step and slurred his speech making his words undistinguishable and hard to understand. Gertrude had a firm grip on his pants and tried to keep him from moving forward. He dragged her along as his outweighed her three to one and never once blinked an eye at her attempts to settle him down.

Talking and talking some more to calm him down he swung at me not once or twice but a set of roundhouse punches that missed with every attempt to do me harm. Never fearing a real hit from him in this stupor I dodged and ducked the best I could to keep him from making contact with my head or skin as it was a nightmare to remember forever. The closer he got the more anxious I was to hit him back but it would be a self-made disaster if I were to hit him once and put him to the ground as he was hard to pick back up if he did indeed fall down.  In my mind I knew I could drop him like a stone.

He kept coming at me and I decided that if I could lead him out of the room near the end of the stairway the rest would make it easier for him to find his way back down to the sofa where he needed to be. Ducking and sliding my feet, I coaxed him out of the room and watched him swing at me one more time as he missed and let his momentum take him down the stairs that began at the front of the room where we stayed and never once lifted a hand to hurt him intentionally.

The bear rolled harmlessly down the stairway and it was there where he decided he would sleep until he could regain his balance and stand on his own. The night was uneventful for the rest of the hours but we knew that when daylight came into the room at the end of the stairway, we had to pack up and leave to find another place to live.

 

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