The First Time the Sun Went Down on Me

Wasted Honor -

Carl R. ToersBijns is the author of the Wasted Honor Trilogy [Wasted Honor I,II and Gorilla Justice] and his newest book From the Womb to the Tomb, the Tony Lester Story, which is a reflection of his life and his experiences as a correctional officer and a correctional administrator retiring with the rank of deputy warden in the New Mexico and Arizona correctional systems.

Carl also wrote a book on his combat experience in the Kindle book titled - Combat Medic - Men with destiny - A red cross of Valor -

Carl is considered by many a rogue expert in the field of prison security systems since leaving the profession. Carl has been involved in the design of many pilot programs related to mental health treatment, security threat groups, suicide prevention, and maximum custody operational plans including double bunking max inmates and enhancing security for staff. He invites you to read his books so you can understand and grasp the cultural and political implications and influences of these prisons. He deals with the emotions, the stress and anxiety as well as the realities faced working inside a prison. He deals with the occupational risks while elaborating on the psychological impact of both prison worker and prisoner.

His most recent book, Gorilla Justice, is an un-edited raw fictional version of realistic prison experiences and events through the eyes of an anecdotal translation of the inmate’s plight and suffering while enduring the harsh and toxic prison environment including solitary confinement.

Carl has been interviewed by numerous news stations and newspapers in Phoenix regarding the escape from the Kingman prison and other high profile media cases related to wrongful deaths and suicides inside prisons. His insights have been solicited by the ACLU, Amnesty International, and various other legal firms representing solitary confinement cases in California and Arizona. He is currently working on the STG Step Down program at Pelican Bay and has offered his own experience insights with the Center of Constitutional Rights lawyers and interns to establish a core program at the SHU units. He has personally corresponded and written with SHU prisoners to assess the living conditions and how it impacts their long term placement inside these type of units that are similar to those in Arizona Florence Eyman special management unit where Carl was a unit deputy warden for almost two years before his promotion to Deputy Warden of Operations in Safford and Eyman.

He is a strong advocate for the mentally ill and is a board member of David's Hope Inc. a non-profit advocacy group in Phoenix and also serves as a senior advisor for Law Enforcement Officers Advocates Council in Chino, California As a subject matter expert and corrections consultant, Carl has provided interviews and spoken on national and international radio talk shows e.g. BBC CBC Lou Show & TV shows as well as the Associated Press.

I use sarcasm, satire, parodies and other means to make you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, September 11, 2014

The First Time the Sun Went Down on Me

The First Time the Sun Went Down on Me

We all have a time when you feel the sun went down on you. It is an emotional moment where your inner spirit has been diminished to a point of surrender. The moment you feel the sun going down on you is the critical time for you to gather your strengths and face the world with every ounce of energy, faith and confidence you have inside of you. In no shape or form must you allow the sun go down on you.

Life has its ups and down. Life is never black or white and although there are times when you feel you heart, your soul become cold or frozen, there is always a chance you can pull yourself out of this abysmal feeling by looking up and finding the light again. Never quit and never surrender yourself to the forces of others. Keep your eyes wide open and make your heart see the purpose you serve on this earth.

There are choices to be made in such times of darkness. Surrendering is giving up the fall you are taking to never see the light again. The oxymoron of such instants is the fact you are actually blinded by the light to make good decisions. Quitting life means disappearing from the reality for who you are and where you belong in such a vast universe.

My sun went down on me when I was a very young man facing the uncertainties of a war. A very unpopular war and a war far away. I felt like I was trapped in a vacuum for there were no choices to this dilemma created by our government and its lust for war. In all reality, I felt the sun was going down on me and I was falling into the darkness never seeing the light again.

The light is what kept me alive and losing the light would mean me dying. It would have caused me to disappear from the world I have known for the last two decades and without it, there was no reason to go on and struggle this uphill battle or fight to see the light.

Don’t fight with the Devil and don’t stay focused on the bad things in life. Focus on the goodness of God and he will sort it out for you before the end is near. It created a real life crisis and the situation called for faith and not hate. It called for you making up your mind what your priorities were in your life and fighting for them. If you take the time to sort it out, you will make your life much more peaceful than before.

Don’t let the sun go down on me means not becoming angry and frustrated with yourself or others. It means to settle those things that bother you the most and then resolve them. It is not always clear what is right or wrong but letting the sun go down is not the answer.

Knowing I was going to travel to a faraway place caused me to have a major depression. However, I had to learn that when you are traveling to that particular place, you can say your are going down but that you will never quit life and do everything you can to stay alive to go back home when your time is done.