Breaking the Harness Inside Me

Wasted Honor -

Carl R. ToersBijns is the author of the Wasted Honor Trilogy [Wasted Honor I,II and Gorilla Justice] and his newest book From the Womb to the Tomb, the Tony Lester Story, which is a reflection of his life and his experiences as a correctional officer and a correctional administrator retiring with the rank of deputy warden in the New Mexico and Arizona correctional systems.

Carl also wrote a book on his combat experience in the Kindle book titled - Combat Medic - Men with destiny - A red cross of Valor -

Carl is considered by many a rogue expert in the field of prison security systems since leaving the profession. Carl has been involved in the design of many pilot programs related to mental health treatment, security threat groups, suicide prevention, and maximum custody operational plans including double bunking max inmates and enhancing security for staff. He invites you to read his books so you can understand and grasp the cultural and political implications and influences of these prisons. He deals with the emotions, the stress and anxiety as well as the realities faced working inside a prison. He deals with the occupational risks while elaborating on the psychological impact of both prison worker and prisoner.

His most recent book, Gorilla Justice, is an un-edited raw fictional version of realistic prison experiences and events through the eyes of an anecdotal translation of the inmate’s plight and suffering while enduring the harsh and toxic prison environment including solitary confinement.

Carl has been interviewed by numerous news stations and newspapers in Phoenix regarding the escape from the Kingman prison and other high profile media cases related to wrongful deaths and suicides inside prisons. His insights have been solicited by the ACLU, Amnesty International, and various other legal firms representing solitary confinement cases in California and Arizona. He is currently working on the STG Step Down program at Pelican Bay and has offered his own experience insights with the Center of Constitutional Rights lawyers and interns to establish a core program at the SHU units. He has personally corresponded and written with SHU prisoners to assess the living conditions and how it impacts their long term placement inside these type of units that are similar to those in Arizona Florence Eyman special management unit where Carl was a unit deputy warden for almost two years before his promotion to Deputy Warden of Operations in Safford and Eyman.

He is a strong advocate for the mentally ill and is a board member of David's Hope Inc. a non-profit advocacy group in Phoenix and also serves as a senior advisor for Law Enforcement Officers Advocates Council in Chino, California As a subject matter expert and corrections consultant, Carl has provided interviews and spoken on national and international radio talk shows e.g. BBC CBC Lou Show & TV shows as well as the Associated Press.

I use sarcasm, satire, parodies and other means to make you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Breaking the Harness Inside Me

Breaking the Hardness Inside

Life in itself is most complex to understand at full face value – there are many hidden factors too hard to comprehend. We have been taught that whatsoever a human being or mortal soul sows is what he or she shall also reap; I believe in karma and at its best, karma has never let me down.

I tried my best to spread the seeds of happiness, compassion and kindness in my own special ways – I am sure I did my best and I doubt I was perfect but they were done nevertheless with love for mankind in mind. I would hope that because I also sowed the seeds of happiness, in return, I would receive the same…………. and waiting.

Still, I remain humble, patient and waiting for the signs that shows a positive progression in my life towards my goal to reach a greatness…………..no, not a personal self-serving greatness but rather, an opportunity that the words I have written will reach someone’s mind enough to change the heart.

In life, I have been a warrior, a soldier, a healer and a teacher; I have walked, crawled and ran in my life to catch my soul. I sowed the seed given to me and planted what I could in return for better wisdom and finding some royalty in my existence. Sometimes, when the light is dark I forget that what I sow is what I reap yet what I reap is not what I expected.

Only God knows what I need, only God knows what the best is for me. l am helpless against the world when it comes to power. I am helpless against the world when it comes to hate and forgiveness. I have tried them both and although I have been partially successful, there is still some darkness in my heart.

I reap what I sow; I cannot get rid of all the evil inside my heart. My mind works hard to rid its spell cast upon me when I was young and it has festered for many years to harden my veins, my soul and my heart. I want to break the toughness.

I want to show flexibility and pleasure but I cannot win this fight until I surrender my body and soul to the faith and hop that has guided me so far in life. I am trying; I am producing and I pray we all join in and become better in showing our love for each other but yet, we are not yet there.