Demonic Filled Sleepless Nights
Every person has a master. Every master controls the heart and soul of those vulnerable to disillusioned thoughts and sleepless nights. One could say this is a direct cause of sleep deprivation. Waking up in the middle of the night, I often gasp for air as I believed to be bleeding to death as if attacked by a demonic alien inside my own domain where I never felt safe enough to fight off the feelings of destiny and death on my own.
A choking sensation around my neck, I can feel the abnormal cardiac rhythms beating louder and causing my flesh to turn red as blood pulses heavily, rising to higher pressures preparing me for torture by the devil of vengeance and immorality. Even in my sleep I am vulnerable to his wicked ways as my mind strays into a deep sleep but yet I feel awake.
My heart can foretell the dangers, my soul collapses with painless sensations as it embraces the darkness around me. For one minute, I am a soulless warrior, looking for the light. My dream has taken me down a path of demonic proportions and my rage comes to a boil as my wrath lashes out to against any resistance of those remaining souls of lost warriors who try to save me in vain.
There are no terminations of my sleepless nightmares. It is a constant pulsating ghastly experience I cannot control. My mind is now in the hands of the devil as he rules the shadows.
The heathen-like hate burns inside my head; for all practical purposes, I feel like I am dead. Bleeding all over, the blood spills on my hands, pillow and the walls. It is as if Satan himself has called me.
Somewhere inside my mind there gathers an abnormal mass of festered evil; the kind that bring those with souls to their knees and ask for mercy. For a moment, I see the devil smile as he is pleased with the manner he controlled my mind and will. Metaphorically, the devil drinks my blood as I feel trapped inside this darkness. For a moment, the lightheaded sensation carries me away to another world as I am consumed with sinful thoughts and mystification.
Standing there, in the darkened underworld, I hear the soulless warriors laughing. Skimming my mind to the last rational thought I gathered, I realize my head is spinning too fast to make any sense out of this confusion. I know my head is hard-wired for logic but my thoughts are wired on the high side and blurring the lines I could only see if I was mentally awake.
This sleepless night seems to last forever – my painless nights appear to sooth my soul enough to allow me to walk on the wild side a little bit longer. Inside my head, I wonder how long I can endure this bitter feeling and walk alongside the devil and live a full life knowing I am a disciple of the devil.
Credit my heart and faith for fighting this dreadful feeling. The tremors inside me shake my head into a spin that clear the clouds and gives me a clearer vision of who I am and where I am standing. Even while fighting the wickedness, I struggle to maintain a nexus to a reality that this is all but a dream and that I am really sleeping.
My life is normal, yet the painless sleepless nights bring into a paranormal world where days are nights and nights are days. Even in my sleep, I find the extra time to see how everyone around me dies. Without a doubt, I give a damn about those dying but I feel helpless to do anything about the victims around me. Afraid to act out with kindness because the devil is standing there right beside me, smiling and laughing as thunderous as he can be.
Naked to the underworld, exposed to the crippled souls around me, I feel the urge to stand up and walk away but my feet are frozen and my head is rolling into a spin that kisses the floor as I fall to a blood dampened marble tile underneath my body. In my ear, I hear unborn and unnamed diseases spread out around me and carried away by the wind. At the same time, the wind whispers in my ear, it’s all a dream. I think I am delusional.
Somewhere in the distance, I hear the rolling thunder; the roof disappears to expose the sky and stars of the heavens. This makes me wonder if I am really awake or asleep as the surreal death around me is hard to justify if this is indeed real and tainted glory. Soon, I will see the light and the sleepless painless nights will be over. Somewhere deep, my faith restores my trust in the goodness in life and the darkness fades slowly.
Out of time, my mind and soul will reluctantly be returned to me by the devil, making me wonder if death is really hard to justify even when you try to preserve the ones you love. With the light, the rats, the cockroaches and vampire bats disappear. The night is over. I pinch myself to see if I am real as the sweat rolls off my wet pale flesh and the dried up blood under my fingernails makes me wonder, if the perceived demise of man was real or if it was just vision.