Confidence or Arrogance ~ Overcompensation

Wasted Honor -

Carl R. ToersBijns is the author of the Wasted Honor Trilogy [Wasted Honor I,II and Gorilla Justice] and his newest book From the Womb to the Tomb, the Tony Lester Story, which is a reflection of his life and his experiences as a correctional officer and a correctional administrator retiring with the rank of deputy warden in the New Mexico and Arizona correctional systems.

Carl also wrote a book on his combat experience in the Kindle book titled - Combat Medic - Men with destiny - A red cross of Valor -

Carl is considered by many a rogue expert in the field of prison security systems since leaving the profession. Carl has been involved in the design of many pilot programs related to mental health treatment, security threat groups, suicide prevention, and maximum custody operational plans including double bunking max inmates and enhancing security for staff. He invites you to read his books so you can understand and grasp the cultural and political implications and influences of these prisons. He deals with the emotions, the stress and anxiety as well as the realities faced working inside a prison. He deals with the occupational risks while elaborating on the psychological impact of both prison worker and prisoner.

His most recent book, Gorilla Justice, is an un-edited raw fictional version of realistic prison experiences and events through the eyes of an anecdotal translation of the inmate’s plight and suffering while enduring the harsh and toxic prison environment including solitary confinement.

Carl has been interviewed by numerous news stations and newspapers in Phoenix regarding the escape from the Kingman prison and other high profile media cases related to wrongful deaths and suicides inside prisons. His insights have been solicited by the ACLU, Amnesty International, and various other legal firms representing solitary confinement cases in California and Arizona. He is currently working on the STG Step Down program at Pelican Bay and has offered his own experience insights with the Center of Constitutional Rights lawyers and interns to establish a core program at the SHU units. He has personally corresponded and written with SHU prisoners to assess the living conditions and how it impacts their long term placement inside these type of units that are similar to those in Arizona Florence Eyman special management unit where Carl was a unit deputy warden for almost two years before his promotion to Deputy Warden of Operations in Safford and Eyman.

He is a strong advocate for the mentally ill and is a board member of David's Hope Inc. a non-profit advocacy group in Phoenix and also serves as a senior advisor for Law Enforcement Officers Advocates Council in Chino, California As a subject matter expert and corrections consultant, Carl has provided interviews and spoken on national and international radio talk shows e.g. BBC CBC Lou Show & TV shows as well as the Associated Press.

I use sarcasm, satire, parodies and other means to make you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Confidence or Arrogance ~ Overcompensation

Is Overcompensation Confidence or is it Arrogance?

By Carl R. ToersBijns

It has been said often there is a thin line between being confident and being arrogant. Although the differences may be hard to tell you have to look closely to find what you are seeing is either overcompensation of feelings, ideas or tones and volumes motivated for a real unwarranted and raw materialistic or emotional power grab for control.

Some behaviors for example describe confidence such as being loud, expressive and in your face attitudes seem to reflect for many positive attributes of a person’s personality, characteristic or confidence.

Conversely, some feel that people who demonstrate their will, intelligence and voice silently, and in a cooperative manner can also display confidence but in a lower key manner that can be described as being aloof or other stereotypical comments that describes people.

The fact is that both are broad generalizations and must be applied to different situations. The main issue is whether or not either style attempts to draw a response of the subject at hand thus approach might deliver the desired response.

There is nothing mysterious about tone or volume associated with communication and behaviors. There are those persons who have a quiet confidence and there are those that possess a loud arrogance. The message is delivered in the manner desired for the situation.

Thus it is important to be able to distinct the different behaviors for different situations and conclude the difference between confidence and arrogance.

Realizing that some people can go about and take care of business in a quiet diligent manner yet draw the appropriate response and respect is another way to seek the proper attention for the occasion. Thus we have a quiet type versus the all mouth that is often described as being “all mouth and no action.”

Interestingly, people in general, either through their own social skills or indoctrinations or educational levels will resort to some sort of adjustment of approach to maintain an objective mechanism and control of the subject discussed or debated. This is where you need to have the ability to observe and look for superficiality and relate to the person’s motive or desire in such occasions.

So you must always ask a few questions about the situation as you wonder; are controlling people overly dominating because they actually feel out of control of the thing/person they are trying to control? Does this thing/person that they are trying to control scare them a little bit? Is this a matter of insecurity rather than being confidence or arrogance? You have to figure out just what the real deal is here so you can adjust your situational assessment and maintain control of what you want to say or do in such instances.

There is one rule a person must never forget. Whenever a person feels they are at a distinct or known disadvantage, they make try to manipulate the situation and overcompensate and become a little bit assertive, aggressive, more innovative or creative in their mannerism or approach.

My point is to simply be aware of such conditions as they may play into the part or act being performed to influence a desired outcome. This is most commonly known as a bluff.

When people feel they are being backed against the wall or cornered into a situation to fight or be controlled, it causes them to compensate for the occasion and may actually exceed and successfully deceive their personal capabilities to defend themselves effectively. Hence, when a person is at a disadvantage, this may motivate them to perform better and higher than ever before giving them the energy and drive to make things happen with unexpected results and successful conclusions.

Situational control is a very delicate process. It involved every capable human intelligence resource available to overcome either a physical or mental disadvantage and allows people to be smart enough and brave enough to try what was once impossible for them to think or do.

Thus it is fair to say that confidence and arrogance work hand n hand to accomplish personal feats when challenged and give them the desire to overcome personal barriers and be successful in the end. Another important lesson learned on human behaviors.

December 1, 2012