Wasted Honor -

Carl R. ToersBijns is the author of the Wasted Honor Trilogy [Wasted Honor I,II and Gorilla Justice] and his newest book From the Womb to the Tomb, the Tony Lester Story, which is a reflection of his life and his experiences as a correctional officer and a correctional administrator retiring with the rank of deputy warden in the New Mexico and Arizona correctional systems.

Carl also wrote a book on his combat experience in the Kindle book titled - Combat Medic - Men with destiny - A red cross of Valor -

Carl is considered by many a rogue expert in the field of prison security systems since leaving the profession. Carl has been involved in the design of many pilot programs related to mental health treatment, security threat groups, suicide prevention, and maximum custody operational plans including double bunking max inmates and enhancing security for staff. He invites you to read his books so you can understand and grasp the cultural and political implications and influences of these prisons. He deals with the emotions, the stress and anxiety as well as the realities faced working inside a prison. He deals with the occupational risks while elaborating on the psychological impact of both prison worker and prisoner.

His most recent book, Gorilla Justice, is an un-edited raw fictional version of realistic prison experiences and events through the eyes of an anecdotal translation of the inmate’s plight and suffering while enduring the harsh and toxic prison environment including solitary confinement.

Carl has been interviewed by numerous news stations and newspapers in Phoenix regarding the escape from the Kingman prison and other high profile media cases related to wrongful deaths and suicides inside prisons. His insights have been solicited by the ACLU, Amnesty International, and various other legal firms representing solitary confinement cases in California and Arizona. He is currently working on the STG Step Down program at Pelican Bay and has offered his own experience insights with the Center of Constitutional Rights lawyers and interns to establish a core program at the SHU units. He has personally corresponded and written with SHU prisoners to assess the living conditions and how it impacts their long term placement inside these type of units that are similar to those in Arizona Florence Eyman special management unit where Carl was a unit deputy warden for almost two years before his promotion to Deputy Warden of Operations in Safford and Eyman.

He is a strong advocate for the mentally ill and is a board member of David's Hope Inc. a non-profit advocacy group in Phoenix and also serves as a senior advisor for Law Enforcement Officers Advocates Council in Chino, California As a subject matter expert and corrections consultant, Carl has provided interviews and spoken on national and international radio talk shows e.g. BBC CBC Lou Show & TV shows as well as the Associated Press.

I use sarcasm, satire, parodies and other means to make you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Amnesia Asylum

I go into darkened places where everybody hangs out getting mighty and high
I feel like paranoia is consuming me from start to finish as I taste the vulgar air of life inside a mind likened so much like a prison
With my friends by my side they tell me I am doing fine but if you really want to know more you cannot hide and run away
You have to read between the lines and show me an open door that will lead me to the inside where you can stay

I am feeling kind of lonely here inside the asylum although you are right there beside me not knowing what to do or what to say
I know that you are here somewhere near but I can’t see you with my eyes once so true and no words do I hear you say
Sometimes I wonder if this crazy place is real or fake or in my case maybe it’s just a lie
For I seem to be lost and lonely inside these walls and windows of the asylum a place where I don’t want to die

I remember the first day as well as I have forgotten tomorrow.  I remember the dreams I left behind
For every wish I made there was sorrow as I forget about the past and can’t face tomorrow
No memory can escape and no emotion can tell the way it is and the way it was
But if I can fall asleep right now and close my eyes, I am sure I can find my way back to you

I am not fine, I am not fine at all for I can’t remember where I have been
I know this place is dark and dirty but I really don’t recognize any one as kin
It’s like it never happened but yet if feels so real to me I cry as I feel roaches crawl on my skin
And if it was real how can I be fine without you’re by my side unless you aren’t there and this is all a lie

Did I wake up with amnesia or did I forget my dreams in some twisted way
If I walk a little closer to you would you stare and push me away
I forget all the little things we have done and where we have been
As time slipped away from me, I can’t hear a word you said to me even yesterday

If I am dreaming wake me up so I can see shake me up so I can see
I didn’t mean to leave you alone but alone and insane I appear to be
I remember a tear or two running down my face the other day
But the memories will never come back to me as time seems to slip away

So how do I escape this asylum I am trapped in and how do I break my dream
If I woke up right now would I recognize you again? Would I be able to see?
I remember the day you left me, I remember the day you cried
But for the life of me I can’t remember all the reasons why