The Beach, The Snow, a Trace of Grace

Wasted Honor -

Carl R. ToersBijns is the author of the Wasted Honor Trilogy [Wasted Honor I,II and Gorilla Justice] and his newest book From the Womb to the Tomb, the Tony Lester Story, which is a reflection of his life and his experiences as a correctional officer and a correctional administrator retiring with the rank of deputy warden in the New Mexico and Arizona correctional systems.

Carl also wrote a book on his combat experience in the Kindle book titled - Combat Medic - Men with destiny - A red cross of Valor -

Carl is considered by many a rogue expert in the field of prison security systems since leaving the profession. Carl has been involved in the design of many pilot programs related to mental health treatment, security threat groups, suicide prevention, and maximum custody operational plans including double bunking max inmates and enhancing security for staff. He invites you to read his books so you can understand and grasp the cultural and political implications and influences of these prisons. He deals with the emotions, the stress and anxiety as well as the realities faced working inside a prison. He deals with the occupational risks while elaborating on the psychological impact of both prison worker and prisoner.

His most recent book, Gorilla Justice, is an un-edited raw fictional version of realistic prison experiences and events through the eyes of an anecdotal translation of the inmate’s plight and suffering while enduring the harsh and toxic prison environment including solitary confinement.

Carl has been interviewed by numerous news stations and newspapers in Phoenix regarding the escape from the Kingman prison and other high profile media cases related to wrongful deaths and suicides inside prisons. His insights have been solicited by the ACLU, Amnesty International, and various other legal firms representing solitary confinement cases in California and Arizona. He is currently working on the STG Step Down program at Pelican Bay and has offered his own experience insights with the Center of Constitutional Rights lawyers and interns to establish a core program at the SHU units. He has personally corresponded and written with SHU prisoners to assess the living conditions and how it impacts their long term placement inside these type of units that are similar to those in Arizona Florence Eyman special management unit where Carl was a unit deputy warden for almost two years before his promotion to Deputy Warden of Operations in Safford and Eyman.

He is a strong advocate for the mentally ill and is a board member of David's Hope Inc. a non-profit advocacy group in Phoenix and also serves as a senior advisor for Law Enforcement Officers Advocates Council in Chino, California As a subject matter expert and corrections consultant, Carl has provided interviews and spoken on national and international radio talk shows e.g. BBC CBC Lou Show & TV shows as well as the Associated Press.

I use sarcasm, satire, parodies and other means to make you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

The Beach, The Snow, a Trace of Grace

Summertime, a time for bliss, a moment of being reminded that the heat can bring us comfort and joy but pain and blisters as well, since we tend to dwell in the house of the Sun. Something strikes me every time I walk the beaches no matter whether the sand is north or south, east or west, the reminisce is the same, the beach, no matter where in the world, leave me traces of grace.

Winter time, a time for bliss, a moment of being reminded that the cold can bring us discomfort and gloom, but also solstice and holistic moments since we tend to dwell inside the house much more than outdoors. Something strikes me every time I take a walk down the street or parking lot. Everything is covered with snow, and the wind, the wind so harsh it blows the snow up over the hoods of cars and makes new shapes out of landscapes and trees.

Both are natural events to either walk with a loved one or alone, it is these walks on the sand or snow that shapes my life. I know that I, like the snow drifts and sandy beaches, am not perfect, and I like the hands of time, I too have evolved over the years into something I would like to share.

My body is a little worn out, to say the least, some parts have been torn, a limb, a soul or even the heart, thus with the memories inside me, this pain could never part. Don’t get me wrong, the body still works like it should, it’s just not as new as some others around me but what you can’t see inside me, is covered with skin, as it hides the love, the compassion and kindness deep within.

My skin is brown, my eyes are brown and my hair is grey. I usually don’t stop to think about how I look, except for some reason, this time it is different and as I walk the snow banks and sandy beaches, it comes to me, what is normal is never the same.

The beaches all have their own personalities, their texture, their warmth, their purest desires to kiss the sea. Whether the water is blue or white, only the eyes can see. I often stand there and watch the transformation from day to night, and what how the sand changes color and shines like diamonds on the shore, reflecting the bright yellow moonlight.

The snow is pure white, it covers everything that doesn’t cause it to melt. It can hide colors, change shapes and create new visions of beauty of what might not have been appealing to the eye. I watched the transformation for day to night and see how the snow changes color and shines like diamonds on the ground, reflecting the bright yellow moonlight.

Night and day is a contrast to our senses. It allows us to see things differently when we change the light. What is normal during the day, is and always so much differently viewed when standing there at night.

In the daytime, you can see every wrinkle the sea carves into the sand, yet at night, the sand looks to be as smooth as glass. Don’t get me wrong, these beaches still look pretty good at night, but when you think about it, what is normal during the day, is so much different than looking at it at night.

So does the snow when it covers the landscape. It makes trees look fuller, healthier and larger. It covers rooftops and hides the color of the tiles, the paint on the windows and the grass is no longer green. It’s a transformation we all have seen taking place and hardly ever connect it as traces of grace.

So do the clothes we wear when we go out on the town. We change as we change the cover, and with time, when the charade or purpose to cover is over, we return back to normal and see our creation in our usual plain sight. The beauty, the view and the perception is all what the eyes and mind can see.

The sun and the moon can either hide or reveal the flaws on the beaches and the sand. It can detail every shell or seaweed washed ashore or hide in in the darkness so it blends. We move our eyes to catch the moment, we see things as they are at the moment of time.

But what we don’t realize is the grace it gives us to see so much, yet so little every spell the world moves around a little and changes it in time. What was a pure snowy covered pasture, turns into a brownish muddy field. The same place, a different time and the eyes can see the change.

We see things as they appear and disappear, depending where you are and what you see or feel. What is seen as beautiful can change into a state of ugliness, and what can be covered can be uncovered to reveal what’s real. I sat and pondered this and it stuck with me, that my life is visual as it is real, but what I see, feel or what I hoped it looked at, is only as real as me. In all reality, the truth sometimes escapes me and what is normal might not be as normal as I thought it would be.

So traces of grace gives me the opportunity to see the good and bad, the ugly and the beautiful all at the same place at a different time of day or stages of my life. My life-cycle is much like this grace I saw; it gives us light at day and darkness at night yet, realistically nothing has changed except the way you see it for the moment in time you stand and say, even what is normal can change.

Traces of grace on the beaches, traces of grace in the snow, traces of grace I can see from my eyes. What God has given me is a gift to see the beauty and the dangers of life in a different shade of grey. My body, although beat up and all worn out, can be covered up just like the clouds can hide the sky and appear to be normal and youthful in the eyes of grace. Life is indeed, what we make it out to be and still be normal.

God loves us all so much, he gives us this amazing gift to see life in many different ways. Through his eyes of grace, he gives you love, mercy, kindness, compassion and humility. He give you and me the ability to see what we need to see in order to understand our lives better and be more whole. God has faithfully given us everything we need to understand life. He has shown forgiveness, mercy and hope.