Icicles hanging from my head

Wasted Honor -

Carl R. ToersBijns is the author of the Wasted Honor Trilogy [Wasted Honor I,II and Gorilla Justice] and his newest book From the Womb to the Tomb, the Tony Lester Story, which is a reflection of his life and his experiences as a correctional officer and a correctional administrator retiring with the rank of deputy warden in the New Mexico and Arizona correctional systems.

Carl also wrote a book on his combat experience in the Kindle book titled - Combat Medic - Men with destiny - A red cross of Valor -

Carl is considered by many a rogue expert in the field of prison security systems since leaving the profession. Carl has been involved in the design of many pilot programs related to mental health treatment, security threat groups, suicide prevention, and maximum custody operational plans including double bunking max inmates and enhancing security for staff. He invites you to read his books so you can understand and grasp the cultural and political implications and influences of these prisons. He deals with the emotions, the stress and anxiety as well as the realities faced working inside a prison. He deals with the occupational risks while elaborating on the psychological impact of both prison worker and prisoner.

His most recent book, Gorilla Justice, is an un-edited raw fictional version of realistic prison experiences and events through the eyes of an anecdotal translation of the inmate’s plight and suffering while enduring the harsh and toxic prison environment including solitary confinement.

Carl has been interviewed by numerous news stations and newspapers in Phoenix regarding the escape from the Kingman prison and other high profile media cases related to wrongful deaths and suicides inside prisons. His insights have been solicited by the ACLU, Amnesty International, and various other legal firms representing solitary confinement cases in California and Arizona. He is currently working on the STG Step Down program at Pelican Bay and has offered his own experience insights with the Center of Constitutional Rights lawyers and interns to establish a core program at the SHU units. He has personally corresponded and written with SHU prisoners to assess the living conditions and how it impacts their long term placement inside these type of units that are similar to those in Arizona Florence Eyman special management unit where Carl was a unit deputy warden for almost two years before his promotion to Deputy Warden of Operations in Safford and Eyman.

He is a strong advocate for the mentally ill and is a board member of David's Hope Inc. a non-profit advocacy group in Phoenix and also serves as a senior advisor for Law Enforcement Officers Advocates Council in Chino, California As a subject matter expert and corrections consultant, Carl has provided interviews and spoken on national and international radio talk shows e.g. BBC CBC Lou Show & TV shows as well as the Associated Press.

I use sarcasm, satire, parodies and other means to make you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Icicles hanging from my head

By Carl R ToersBijns

April 8, 2015

Some say it’s cool to having icicles hanging from my head, they draw such clear crystal clear streaks and make me look so beautiful and cool standing in the sun, but deep inside these spikes of ice, there is trouble deep brewing inside my head that is making me feel cold and old mixed with emotions not new

Because I let those very same frigid conditions form these icicles hanging from my head, I have to deal with my snow covered emotions and freezing water inside my veins causing me to be damned and dammed from the world and separated from the warmth and comforts I once knew, before this ice lifeform appeared and made me turn blue as if I was ready for the dead

Icicles can cause so much damage, it has never really been told, no one who wears them so proudly on the sides of their heads, has ever been so bold, to loosen up and tell the truth, when icicles melt and pour out your concentrated contaminated soul, your troubles are far from over, as your begin a new life in dealing with this emotionless cold

The results are not pretty, the once smooth skin just peels away like a snake when it sheds its skin, and the body warps and twists with pain as you begin to realize the sagging discomfort inside you will sadly forever stay

I cannot forget to mention the dampness you feel inside and the soggy feelings about others you once knew, as you felt the loss of valuable warmth dissipate into the once blue sky above your head, now covered with grey and stormy clouds

Icicles can bring you mold and mildew as you wake up each morning with the frozen morning dew, as you realize so sudden, you have become a magnet for anything that draws the heat away from you

As the frozen masses melts into icy water and runs sadistically through your vessels including the brain; no matter how hard you tried to shake it, the freezing water runs freely through your veins and avoids your body from making the heat to make it all go away and no longer make you feel this way

As time passes by, you realize your icicles may stay around forever if you let them, as you realize there are no quick fixes to the frosty temperatures around you and the icy emotions that it mixes, so you dam up your soul and you dam up your heart, without the heat inside your body, no healing will ever start

As time causes the freezing water to flow up to these dams above, your mind and soul escape the desires and wants of a bountiful kind of human love; thick ridges appear, your skin appears solid for this lifestyle you have chosen as the frozen hate inside of you has put out the fire of passion and desire to become a loving being again; in your mind you know the truth, you know which way to let the water flow and let this coldness go

If you let the freezing water collect in the chambers of your still warm but broken heart, the heat will collect and form an accumulated collection of fond memories and faces of people who you have long ignored and return your life back to normal with a warm and cozy thawed out start; But whatever you do, don’t hack away at the ice or frozen mass with chisel, hammer or any other dangerous tool; for the damage done if you hack it away will turn you into a bigger fool

A fool who will do more damage than good, a fool that could throw everything precious away, as you lay new seeds around your feet and take the time to ask for blessings and pray

When you find God, the icicles will disappear – word